There is something to be said for ledges. And I was sick of living on the edge of them.
It was early September 2018 when I received a call that my friend had passed. This was the news that changed my life.
ShhLLAP!!!
My best friend (to the left of me), before he passed away. The news of his death changed the entire direction of my life.
That’s the sound life makes when it cracks you in the face. It’s a real plot killer. It’s also the final hit I was willing to take after multiple years of tragedies. More on that at another time.
I wasn’t always a passionate believer in focusing on my health & self. In fact, I used to think that stopping everything and doing nothing is preposterous. That in itself is a subject for another time. Because doing nothing is the hardest job.
Basically one day, I reached my own personal ledges. I hit the ceiling for my pain and time management. Then, I reached the roof of my patience and overall tolerance. So I jumped. But I am here and I am okay.
So, here’s some self-realization 101. Because sometimes you reach the ledges of life and it’s either time to jump or turn around.
We all hide behind masks. I mean life throws us curveballs.
Back then, I walked a very fine line between:
- Exhaustion
- Complete burnout
- Mental breakdown
- Physical overload
- Sanity
- Failure
- And exposure in doing so.
What would happen if I continued walking that ledge? I will never know because the answer became clear. I had to jump over it. Take a leap of faith. Shake things up and not worry so much about what was on the other side.
The definition of anxiety stems from worry and I was living proof that this ledge wasn’t something to be scared of.
I was proceeding with caution towards the inevitable unknown. But I was now less afraid of going over that ledge in my life.
Almost instantly I looked at what areas could be modified, cut back on, or eliminated. Then, new doors opened, despite the fact I was once afraid of them.
This is what happened:
- My creativity craved exhaustion and challenges
- I was in so much pain that I was desperate for therapy and rehabilitation
- I needed to rest and heal
- The relational being in me was ready to give compassionately and love unconditionally.
This, of course, triggered HIP Lives’ foundation and beginnings. The slowing myself down to focus on those cores which blossomed into a story within me to share.
I jumped off my personal ledge, and there is no turning around from here.
This post was originally published on deanblundell.com.
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