Daydream a New Year’s Options  

Resolutions are realistic with plans subject to change

Every New Years Eve on December 31 is a day to look back on the year you were in and look at everything you have seen, accomplished and what you hope to accomplish in the new year that is to start at the toll of the bell at midnight that very night.

So what exactly is a true resolution you can set for yourself that you know is realistic that you want to see become real from a dream you had? Is it to travel to a new location? A job promotion? A dream to do something you never have done before? It can be any of those however, how do you remind yourself to be realistic because plans can abruptly change before you know it?

Every New Year’s Eve I am like so many in terms of what I said before; I look back on the year and I think back on so much that has happened but I ask myself, “Have I grown in experience in the fields I wanted to grow in? Have I grown in more knowledge? Have I done everything I set out to do that I wanted from last year’s December 31st?”

The last few years for me personally have been quite the milestones in things I have accomplished ranging from becoming a five-time published author to a traveler who has beheld sights I have only read about in my history studies as well online and so much more. But one resolution that remains one that never does at times go the way I hope is the resolution of finding true love.

Immediately on January 1st of every beginning of the newest year I have six days till my birthday on January 7th. It to me is always the fastest six days I have to endure and enjoy the last six days before hitting a new age milestone. This upcoming birthday I hit the age milestone of thirty-six, four more years till I hit the next double-digit years of the forties.

So how does my birthday and age come into play for the resolution of finding true love? I just find with each passing birthday I remind myself to keep the resolution of finding true love to a minimal hope, but why is this? Anyone who wants to find true love is always ready to find it. 2020-2021 the world we live in has been taken over by a pandemic, so many rules have fallen into place of what we have come to know as Social Distancing.

Even before the Pandemic dating for me has never been easy, even as a teenager. Now you’re thinking, “He’s bluffing. I am sure he has had lots of chances with dating.” Well, if you read my monthly blog, it is called Life On The Spectrum, more so to bring to light Life On The Autistic Spectrum. I am very high functioning for someone who has Autism, however, in this world we live in Autism is very much something alien to the world though shows like The Good Doctor portray a fictional character on the spectrum and a Netflix documentary called Love On The Spectrum which highlights people on the spectrum trying to find true love.

The way Autism is portrayed on tv shows/films and seen through documentaries is one that the world just goes and accepts as facts but want nothing to do with Autism itself. So how does this all relate to the resolution I mentioned? It relates to it because I know the struggles it takes to try to be in a relationship like so many others because of my past love relationships but also because I know like so many what it is like to be rejected.

Hitting thirty-six next year is in a way a milestone for me because the year I was born my father would be turning the same age but a few months after I was born. For me as a little boy that to me was like an expectation I formally held myself to for most of my childhood into most of my teenage years of being married and having a family of my own by the time I reached the age my father was the year I was born.

It even became a resolution of mine on New Year’s 2004 to find true love and be ready to settle down in a committed relationship by the time I was in my mid-twenties, like being married by twenty-five. But where could I go as a teen in his final teen year as well once I hit twenty where could a young twenty-year-old go? I was not old enough to go to a bar, all my friends were away at college focusing on their studies but we made time to talk to each other using AOL Instant Messenger but they did not know anyone single each time I asked and all the places I enjoyed going to like a bookstore and the movies I didn’t want to make a move on anyone because you never knew the true age of someone just by how someone looks but some ages you can somehow definitely tell.

As the years from 2005 to now have flown by I have had four girlfriends but nothing amounted to achieving the resolution I had set for myself to be married by the time I wanted to be. So, you see how plans can change? You set forth a resolution but sometimes time is just not on your side for the resolution to work in your favor, it is like the flip of a coin, it can only land so many times on one side before you tell yourself your thumb is sore from flipping the coin.

Always remember Each resolution you set forth for yourself you need to acknowledge that it may or may not always come to pass as a resolution that works in your favor and it is ok to feel discouraged it just means that this was not the year for it because plans change and you can revisit the resolution when you are ready to revisit it but who knows you might have the resolution work out in your favor in the next year when you least expect it to because the element of surprise is always waiting to surprise you with each surprise it wants to bring.