When I met my husband
- I wasn’t a mom.
- When you fell in love with her she wasn’t a mom.
- You didn’t marry her because she was a mom.
Some days I feel bad for my husband because I don’t resemble the woman he fell in love with.
She lived life fast and fiercely. She was fun and carefree.
10 years ago we were young, impulsive, and even wreck less (reference our first kid who will be ten in November). We spent all our time together. When we were not working we were together. We laughed a lot and could talk for hours about anything and everything, making plans and dreams together. Having the whole world at our finger tips and we didn’t even realize it.
Fast forward to now. Conversations are interrupted by kids who need something from me ALL THE TIME. Time spent together in one day is often less than an hour.
- We both work full time and parent full time.
- We have to plan time to be a couple and even that falls through most of the time.
Some days we barely speak to each other.
My husband gets what’s left of me after kids and work and life. To be honest, I know it’s not fair. I’m worn out and moody. Irritated by the school calls, work deadlines, bill due dates, and chores that still need to be done. He gets the woman that doesn’t have much energy left but for a short conversation before nodding out on the couch.
I’m sure he wonders where the woman he married is.
I’m still here just buried under life. I still think about you during the day and smile. Loving you more now than I did 10 years ago. I know I don’t say it enough. I promise it won’t always be like this. One day when the kids are grown and things slow down it will be just us again.
For now I promise to give you more than the leftovers of me.
We will make the most of the little time a day we have together. We will sneak as many small moments away as we can. And hopefully once in a while pretend like its 2009 again.
About the Author:
Rachael Cyr is a regular contributor for Hip Lives- read more of her story here!
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