Well, this should be obvious of course because, with a New Year begun, we believe the past year is behind us and that with this annual beginnings, we can use this starting date to launch new chapters of ourselves and our health and our surroundings. But do we? Does it matter so much if we don’t? Should we be waiting 365 days for that restart again should our resolutions not work out?
The answer is….yes for some and no for others. Vague right? Well, it is because these are your own resolutions so if you do or don’t maybe doesn’t matter to some but it could be highly triggering for others – complete with pangs of guilt and shame if they are not fulfilling their personal mandates to themselves.
Statistics say that only 9% of the annual “plans” one makes for themselves are actually followed through successfully. This is a shockingly low number but why? Is it what people are setting as the bar for themselves? I mean for that, we would have to call on our good friend google to see what it was that 2021 made it on the list in terms of the TOP resolutions.
Here’s what I found:
You will find more infographics at Statista
If this was Family Feud, I am pretty sure we could have all taken a stab at the resolution answers and gotten at least 90% of them on the board. See, for years and years, the out with the old and in with the new mentality has had most of us committing to a better self, better health, a better relationship and some good old wealth. But why can we not achieve the diet, the exercise, the love and the better quality, clean life we so desire each January 1st?
I can relate this to anything in the addictions arena for why addicts cannot quit and say generally, it has much to do with not being ready.
Here is what I think holds us back in the resolution success department…and kudos to the 9% who had their ducks in a row. (or started in November like the Resolution Olympians that they are)
Your mentality unprepared
This will mean that you simply cannot change the behaviour as it has been practised with bad habits for so long that your physical preparations haven’t been considered.
To better prep for a new lifestyle overnight, the right tools have to be in place… not just the verbal or written commitment that desires change.
Who is there in your corner?
How about a sponsor? Accountability partner? Coach? Basically someone or something that is going to check-in and be your support when the cravings for chocolate, nicotine, social media, being lazy or hitting the bottle stir inside you.
If we were intended to walk our walks alone, then humanity wouldn’t be the single most important free tool we are all born with. We all need someone. Special someone’s for resolution purposes could be a family member, friend or frequent stranger whom you confide these goals.
Whoever it is will be one step closer to not giving up because now, you have confirmed with yourself a) how serious you are b) that your goals matter and you want help reaching them and c) that whatever it is that you desire to make changes about, really is an area of concern for you – so now you’ve said it out loud to a witness – you are more apt to believe change is necessary.
You are scared.
Being afraid to be a better version of yourself may sound silly but it’s actually a thing. We grow accustomed to the inner flaws that actually we then generate a thought that grows to be our identity and worn as an exterior flaw. This is who we are. This is who we are seen as. This is who we were meant to be.
What will life be like to be that much thinner, or to be getting up routinely and hitting the gym? In theory, it sounds like a great and healthy existence… but for many, that also causes fear to coincide with it. You are wanting it but are also comfortable with your lazy mornings and sweatpants self. Maybe not as happy as you think you would be but comfort over happiness is generally a mode that we won’t switch off as it’s not the worst it could be. Scary to think about leaving that comfort zone in pursuit of happiness that we may not feel deserving of achieving or even acceptant of being viewed as being.
So where does that leave us?
Well with Mercury Retrograde in full swing your ability to stay on the tracks you’ve promised yourself (loosely) to achieve (attempt).
Well, it leaves on that random Tuesday in July. Or maybe it is the beginning of a month or even a week that resonates for you as you determine to resolve some of your areas that perhaps need eliminating or simply polishing up a bit. Whatever the promise or dream that you decide to commit to, remember:
- One thing at a time. It will be easier to reach 1-2 goals than a long list of impossibilities
- Implement support, have a plan in mind and a person that will encourage your personal accountability. I mean hell, these were your words.
- Don’t worry about how and what and when complications will arise because trust me, they will and when they do – it’s never in the way you could have ever seen it coming, otherwise you would have had a plan to overcome it in mind. Stop worrying but consider solutions for potential what if’s.
- Make a game plan and get your mind ready in preparation to motivate, control and create the wellness environment you will need to succeed.
Finally – don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip or completely fall off your planned resolution. Try again or maybe you decide you no longer wish to resolve this area of your life at all…but whatever you do, just know that a Happy New Year will be one that isn’t leather-bound by unhappy goals. If you want it and have the proper tools in place then trust that happiness will just keep growing alongside your own from within.